The Flowers for Algernon Moment
The Flowers for Algernon Moment
Many years ago I read a book called “Flowers for Algernon.” It is basically a story of a scientific experiment gone wrong and appears to have application to the circumstance many find themselves in when they open their mind to freedom of thought. To relate what is meant by this you must understand the story line to find the application.
The story begins with describing a mentally handicapped janitor that works for a scientific research group. He is described as having basic functional skills yet knowing he was not normal. People often made fun of him and he had trouble mentally processing certain aspects of his janitorial work. The story then shifts to an experimental drug that is given to a mouse providing it with super intelligence. The mouse’s name is Algernon. Algernon responds immediately to the drug and performed tests of intelligence in record times never before demonstrated. The results were so amazing that the scientists decided to find a human subject to try the medication on as well. Since the janitor worked for the institute he was given the opportunity to be the first human experiment using the drug.
The janitor wanted desperately to feel normal like other people to be free of the handicap of being mentally challenged. Even though he knew there were risks he jumped at the chance to forever change his life. When the drug was administered to him it was like waking up to a new world each day, like Algernon, his progress was phenomenal and rapid. In just a few days he understood what people were saying, was able to process mathematical equations that he could never comprehend before. He became a learning machine spending hours in study and research. Soon his intelligence began to surpass the scientists, his ideas and concepts as well as the words that he used started to get beyond the comprehension of those around him. Once again he found that he was feeling alone. At this point in the story something began to happen to Algernon, the little mouse started to falter. At first it was in small things but rather quickly the progression began to worsen. It soon became evident the drug only had a temporary affect. The janitor took this as his new direction in life and instead of dealing with people he poured himself into research to find a solution to the short term effects of the drugs benefit. At this point due to his intelligence his mind had developed to the extent that he was perhaps the most proficient scientist to find a solution. After extensive experimentation and research finally in a matter of days it was proven that there was no possible way for the drug to have long term benefits. It was not long after this that Algernon became less and less responsive and finally died.
The janitor knew his days were numbered it was just a matter of time. He found himself between both worlds, the world of the mentally handicapped on one side and the normal intelligence individuals on the other. He did not want to see himself digress around the friends and researchers knowing how they would pity him till the end. There was also a realization the great gift of intellect that had been induced was now starting to slip away. The janitor wrote a letter of farewell to the institute saying he did not want them to see him in the state that was yet to occur, at the end of the letter he asked for flowers to be placed on Algernon’s grave for him. It was his “flower’s for Algernon moment” a moment when he realized he could never go back to where he was as well as not having anyone to relate to the situation he was now in. If there was a solution to be found he would prefer to do it alone rather than confirm failure to for all to see.
For many when they come to terms with the violation of trust that being in a cult causes it is a moment when they realize like the janitor that they are in a situation they will do anything to escape from. You just want to feel normal like other people and try to process life the way typical individuals experience it. To do so requires a life altering decision that represents a commitment you can never turn back from. What is that commitment? To open your mind to freedom of thought, to look at the big picture with no limitations, to exercise your freedom of will to see all possibilities when researching or looking into anything that relates to religion or life itself, to leave the cult and never go back. The beginning stages are wonderful you start to do regular things other people take for granted, it is strange a first, but it feels so good to finally fit in and feel normal. Interestingly you begin to discover that “normal” people seem to have limitations to a lesser degree yet similar to those within the cult when thoughts or ideas present themselves that push boundaries; they too go into shutdown mode and refuse to see or accept a larger picture. At this point you begin to feel isolated or limited as to what you can discuss without making your new friends feel uncomfortable around you. You start to think about all those that that came out of cults before you and understand the road they have traveled as well as the uncertainty they experienced. Some did not make it and either went back to a similar cult allowing it to direct the rest of their lives while others seem totally lost by immersing themselves in self destructive behaviors that bring them so much unhappiness.
It is at this point you have your “Flower’s for Algernon Moment,” you can never go back to where you were and wonder if the benefits of having freedom of thought are short term results that will eventually cause you to give up or self destruct. Is there a chance that you will just deteriorate to a level that just allows you to just fit in with normal people? Will the cult mind programming ultimately succeed in its original purpose; that is destroying those that choose to leave?
You are filled with deep appreciation for the courage and brave steps of those that went before you. You realize it is now up to you to fight your way through to find the solution to this situation. You do not want the pity of those that saw you leave, cheered your flight to freedom and realize you are largely alone in your quest to find inner peace. Living life with questions you cannot answer can make you feel far less intelligent than you did at first but being humbled to acknowledge this is part of the process that others before you learned to accept also.
Will you survive your “Flowers for Algernon Moment?”