Pete Was Always my Friend
There are certain people that seem to come into your life for a reason and when they leave, it produces a vacuum that seems to always be there. Pete Frazier was one of those people for me.
You see, Pete was not a Jehovah’s Witness, but his younger brother was. Dub, was my good friend as a JW and we had many outings together. I often sought surrogate fathers due to the shortcomings of my own and I wanted my children to know what real grandparents are like. When I resigned as an elder over reporting an elder child molester, Dub shunned me, even though I still attended meetings he stuck with the “pedophile paradise”. I had met Pete through his brother and after I left, Pete was very curious about what happened. As a result we became close friends. Now Pete you might say was a bit of a rounder. That means he kind of always had a double life. Even though he was married, he always had girlfriends, smoked weed, drank a little, and had his fun. When I met him that did not stop, yet we had a connection through the events that surrounded us. Pete got depressed when he separated from his wife, so he built a cabin on a pond and invited members of the community to have Thursday breakfast on the pond. It was a very popular thing in the county as as many as 40-50 people attended at a time.
Pete sold me my first motorcycle and taught me how to ride it. We (my son and I) rode together with Pete for about four years and had many adventures. When my marriage ended after 22 years, Pete was the first person I talked to about it. He was in shock, then the old codger tried to date my ex. That was Pete. As he told my ex, “I am just a dirty old man.”
When my marriage ended I wound up with a storage shed with a bunch of tools and memories with no place to put it. Pete graciously volunteered to allow me to put it on his land at no charge. I moved two hours away but, I was always back often to see my son and stop by and catch up on what was going on with Pete. About three years passed and Pete had just went through a serous breakup with one of his girlfriends. He started taking depression medicine. I stopped by soon after and discovered a Watchtower on his table. I said, “Pete! What is this about??” He told me that since his daughter was a JW he was just trying to be nice. I said, “Pete if you read this stuff one day we won’t be able to be friends.” Pete assured me that that would never happen. A couple months later I noticed a JW study book. I said, “Pete, really??? They are going to get inside your head.” Again Pete assured me it was just for family and we would always be friends.
Finally, the next time I stopped by he had an OJ book. Again... “Pete are you getting baptized???” “You are going to have to shun me!” Pete said, “Now Bill no matter what they say I will never shun you, we have been through too much together, I will always be your friend!” I just nodded my head. I was so sad, as I knew what he did not.
Well Pete held them off for about a year, but the shed, the damn shed, the JWs would not let it rest as they just had to punish me for how I had exposed them. So one day I get a phone call and it is Pete. He said, “Remember what you told me about studying? Well you were right and you need to get the shed off my property.” I didn’t make a big deal of it and was kind of surprised it took as long as it did. So I got my tools, as I now had a place to put them and so many of the memories, I just gave away to move on. But before I left I wrote a letter with the intention of delivering it to Pete. This is what I wrote;
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Dear Brother Frazier,
I just wanted to give you an update about the shed. I have sold it to a guy named Brandon and he will be picking it up next week. I told him about the November 18, deadline and he said that is no problem.
I also wanted to tell you goodbye and thank you for your kind consideration in allowing me to park my shed on your property for so many years. We shared a lot of good times together riding four wheelers, camping, motorcycles, having a beer, good conversations, along with many others. You were the person I often put who to contact in case of an emergency as I always thought you would look out for my best interests. You have a lot of knowledge you have chosen to not remember that we talked about over the years, for example, a local child molester that goes door to door, now I am sure you have worked with him. You now support the “pedophile paradise”. That of course is your decision and as you know I cannot. (2 Peter 2:22)
Remember me telling you I was a prophet? Well if you continue, you are just going to grow old and when they use you up they will have no use for you anymore. Then it will be too late. It is my greatest hope that someday you will come to understand the difference between friendship based on conditional love and real friends. Until that happens I wish you the best.
I am here if you ever need me,
Brother Bowen
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I had the letter in an envelope ready to just put it on his door, but he was there. So I knocked and he opened the door. I said, “I wanted to give you this letter.” I noticed his JW daughter was across the room helping him paint. So I said, “Pete, you think these people are your friends, but really they are not because it is all based on conditional love. The minute you fail to meet the conditions they cut you off. You know this, because you saw it happen to me. So remember this, the day that happens I will be your friend again.”
I knew Pete, he had always led a double life he could not stay straight. So I wanted to give him an out, a friend to come to when he got in trouble with the organization. I just knew he would.
That letter was written eight years ago. Well, recently I was driving through the area and I just had a strong desire to send Pete a text message. I said,”Pete are you still alive??, then said, ‘they had the rapture yesterday and I was just making sure you were still here!” The only response I got was, “This is not Pete.” That was of concern, as Pete would have never gotten rid of his phone number, he had it for many years. So I stopped by to see his wife as they remained married even though separated, as she was hard core of another religion. Oddly enough we had remained friends and I would sometimes check in with her to see how Pete was doing.
She told me that not long ago, Pete went to the grocery store, brought his food in, and the went out onto the driveway pulled a gun out of his car and blew his brains out. I was in shock as this happened about six months after my sister took her life trying to be reinstated, and she was refused. As I spoke with his wife she revealed certain things that showed he was probably still leading a double life. To me, the only explanation that made sense was that he got caught. On the way back from the store he was contacted and realized he was going to face a judicial committee. Pete could not face the shame and shunning that would result, and for those reasons he took his life.
It seems somewhat ironic, my sister took her life trying to get back in and Pete lost his fearing getting thrown out.
Pete, I wish you had called me, I would have helped you either beat the committee or gave you the ear you needed so as to not feel hopeless and lost. I hope you are at peace and know that void caused by JWorg will always be with me. I felt helpless to assist my sister and that very same feeling is what I feel about losing you.
I know you loved me, just as my sister did, but that love was poisoned by fear and guilt. Poison kills and destroys those who partake either knowingly or unknowingly, the damage is done. Just two more casualties of JWorg that counts into the thousands.
But no matter what,
Pete was always my friend.