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This is a recent story posted by a former Jehovah's Witness and
their interaction with their active Jehovah's Witness family
member. It helps to show the mind set of all active JW's
regarding how family should be treated.
This could this happen to you!
I went to my dad's house for Christmas. It was the first Christmas we celebrated
together since I was 5 years old. It was my kid's and [name withheld] very first
One of my sisters lives near my dad and is a hardcore damaged JW and has
nothing to do with my dad.
I figured if I didn't call they would accuse me of not even calling when I was in town.
So I called [my JW sister] and left a message, and she finally called me back after
a couple of hours. I was driving, but I pulled over on the side of the road to talk to
After some very brief (like 30 seconds) idle chit-chat, she finally says, "I don't know
what to make of your phone call."
Me: "What do you mean?"
Her: "Well, are you up here for Christmas?"
Me: "We're up here to visit Dad."
Her: "For Christmas?"
Me: "Well, we will be here DURING Christmas, yes."
(Note: I knew what she was getting at and she wasn't rattling me. I was trying to let
her work out her logic to me.)
She says, "Well, I saw the pictures of the girl's Easter Egg hunt so I know you are
doing pagan holidays. You are an apostate and have turned your back on the true
God you were raised with. I love you, but you have let Satan into your heart."
Me (after snickering - which I didn't mean to do): "[Sis], I know we have differences
but I was hoping that natural affection for your family would take over and we could
put our differences aside and we could get along for the sake of the kids."
Her: "If you would like to meet me somewhere with the kids I can take them and
they can all play together, but I can't be around you because you are dangerous."
Me: "No, it's a package deal. It's either me and the kids, or it's none of us."
Her: "I figured you would say that and that is too bad, because I know the kids
would really like to play together. The boys heard the phone message and know
their cousins are in town. But since you have turned your back on Jehovah, I
cannot have anything to do with you. You are dangerous."
Me: "I'm dangerous? The whole reason I left [our town] quietly is so that family
members would not accuse me of trying to destroy their faith. Now, despite that,
you are STILL calling me dangerous?"
Her: "Yes, you were raised with the Truth. You were raised to love the true God
Jehovah and you dedicated your life to him. But you have basically turned your
back on him and because of that, cannot have you in my house. You have
completely hurt our entire family by your actions because we love you so much."
Me: "[Sis], what am I supposed to do if I found 100% irrefutable proof that the
religion I was raised in is not what it claims to be? Am I supposed to just stick it
out because I dedicated myself to it?"
(Note: This is the logic they use to get people from other religions to leave a
religion and join the JWs. But apparently that logic ceases to exist if applied to
Her (after a pause and some slight stammering): "Well ... yes ... I guess you do.
You made a dedication to Jehovah and you have turned your back on him and are
now doing pagan things. I love you but I can't associate with you."
Me: "Well, that's unfortunate, but you treated [my wife and kids and me] all like crap
when we were supposedly going to meetings and doing everything we were
supposed to. So for me it's not as big a loss I guess, but I was hoping the kids
could at least hang out together for awhile."
Her: (After a pause) "I know. I know I have problems with cutting people off
emotionally. But I do love you - I know I do cut people off emotionally and it is
something I am working on. Me even calling you back is showing how much I love
you and I was praying that you would have a change of heart. I know I do cut
people off emotionally though."
Me: "I know you do too. But being a witness requires that you cut people off
emotionally. It's called having no natural affection."
Her: "I do have natural affection. But I cannot be around someone who has turned
their back on Jehovah. I need to protect my faith."
Me: "Look, I just wanted to come see your new house and "
Her: "I want you to come see our house too, but the scriptures say that someone
that leaves the truth should not even be having a meal with such a person."
Me: "That is not what the scripture says, it says do not eat with any fornicators. I
have not fornicated with anyone!"
Her: "That's what it says. Not even a meal."
Me: "Yeah, for fornicators. But I haven't fornicated with anyone."
Her: "You are celebrating pagan holidays so that is fornicating with false religion."
(Note: This is a typical method of almost seamlessly adding to scripture to make it
say something it really didn't.)
Her: "With the poor choices you have made over the past year, it has really caused
me to re-examine my faith and to really look at what I believe. I have looked at tons
of secular books as well as the bible and it has done nothing but reaffirm my faith."
(Note: She didn't even hint at what she looked up - which I have found to be typical.
No one ever is willing to tell me.)
Me: "You didn't look hard enough."
Her: "I did look hard enough and I am completely satisfied. I looked at secular
books and I looked at the bible and where they differed I go with the bible because
the bible is inspired of god."
Me: "So do I. I go with the bible on those differences too."
Her: "Whoa, no, don't even start with me [name withheld]. I'm not gonna have these
kinds of apostate conversations with you."
Me: "Like I said, I was just hoping that natural affection for your family would take
over and we could just enjoy each other's company as brother and sister and the
cousins could all hang out together."
Her: "Jesus said that the truth would divide families."
(Note: I don't recall Jesus saying it would be a bragging point that a religion would
be proud of.)
Me: "Every religion uses that line on their members to keep them in! If you go to an
ex-Mormon website you will find the exact same lines from Mormons to keep their
members in line."
Her: "I don't visit those kinds of sites. Visiting sites like that is dangerous to your
faith but apparently you are willing to visit them."
Me: "I said ex-MORMON websites. Not ex-JW websites."
Her: "I know. I said I don't visit those sites."
Me: "An ex-Mormon site? You wouldn't visit an ex-Mormon site?"
Her: "No, because it is dangerous to my faith. I am not going to visit any site that
could be a detriment to my faith."
Me: (Pretty much speechless at what I had just heard) "[Sis] , I wish I was
recording this so you could hear how ridiculous you sound."
Her: "Well, I'm sorry you feel that way. But you are an apostate [name withheld]. I
love you, but you are an apostate and Satan has got a hold of you."
Me: "Well, I'll be sure and tell my kids you said that about their dad."
Her: "I'm sure you will. But remember that the girls are always welcome here
because they never dedicated their lives to Jehovah like you did. That is why I can't
(Note: My dad is not "dedicated" to Jehovah, but she'll have nothing to do with him
Me: "And when we head up to Grandma and Grandpa's I'll make sure to tell them
that you said I am diabolical and Satanic."
(Our grandparents are not JWs and do not like JWs at all, but have kept their
mouths shut for decades just so they can see their grandkids.)
Her: "Yeah, I bet you'll just love going up there and telling them all this."
Me: "I'm not the one making the accusations. I am just speaking the truth."
Her: (After a bit of a pause, her voice shaking) "I ... love ... Grandma and Grandpa
SO MUCH and I always have."
Me: "So do I!"
Her: (Her voice turns contemptuous) "YOU DO NOT! You and [my other JW sister]
BOTH say that you love them but you don't love them like I love them! You and [my
other JW sister] pretty much have NOTHING to do with them and I do stuff with
them all the time. You are just using them now to divide the family."
(Note: But remember, she said the truth divides families. I am only speaking the
truth. Also, never mind the fact that she lives an hour away and me and my other
sister lived 3700 miles away in the complete opposite corner of the U.S. - It has
always been hard to visit being that far away.)
Her: ".. and you are lazy! You are just lazy! You couldn't cut it and you didn't want to
do all that Jehovah required of you. Requirements that you DEDICATED YOUR
LIFE TO! You need to HUMBLE YOURSELF and come back to Jehovah before it's
(Note: It's lazy to walk away from all you have ever known and start over completely
from scratch? That is easy? That is taking the lazy way out?)
Me: "I need to humble myself? I'm not the one that is saying I have absolute truth
and all the answers. It is neither faithful, nor discreet, or humble to say that you
have ALL THE ANSWERS. That is not humility. That is arrogance. Not even the
supposedly evil Christendom has the arrogance to proclaim that. They do not say,
'You have to be a member of our church or you will die!'"
Her: "Of course not, that's because in the churches people just like to have their
ears tickled. They don't want to have to do anything."
Me: "[Sis], you are just speaking in buzzwords and lines lifted directly from the
Watchtower. None of this sounds like it is coming from your heart."
Her: "Well I believe it with all my heart, so if it sounds like they are just lines that is
because those things are in my heart."
[there was more, but I don't remember it all at the moment]
Her: "This conversation has probably already gone on longer than it should have. I
love you and I love your girls, and they are always welcome here, but you are not."
Me: "Like I said, I was hoping natural affection for your family would take over. But
apparently it won't."
[Some sort of awkward goodbyes and final digs at each other and we hung up.]